


This is Home

by donutdisturblivball



Series: MCYT Oneshots I Write Because I Have No Life [7]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Gen, Trans, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, all info is in the two longass a/n's, not a songfic tho lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:01:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27687982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donutdisturblivball/pseuds/donutdisturblivball
Summary: a (late) transgender awareness week special featuring georgenotfound.
Series: MCYT Oneshots I Write Because I Have No Life [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1988605
Kudos: 67





	This is Home

**Author's Note:**

> EYYYYYYYYY WHATS UP GUYS!!! IT'S TRANSGENDER AWARENESS WEEK (imlateikiwasscaredtopostthis)! POGGGG!!
> 
> because of this special occasion, i wrote a trans!georgenotfound oneshot, so basically he's a girl who wants to transition to become a guy. i am not trans myself, but i got feedback from one of my friends (he's more of my child tbh) who is trans, so hopefully i hit the topic spot on. 
> 
> the fact that i can barely find anything celebrating trans awareness week tells me that trans people need more representation smh. also, while i absolutely adore the song this is home by cavetown, it's not a song fic. the name just fit. i mean, you could always listen to this is home while reading it... i was writing it while playing a one hour loop of that song lol.
> 
> i suppose there aren't any trigger warnings, since i gave this oneshot a happy ending, but there is some angst. so... tw//could possibly hit too close to home for some people?
> 
> anyway, enjoy. :)
> 
> ok one more thingy: this is an a/n from the future. after talking to another friend, i realized how i kinda just dissed gender dysphoria, and dysphoria in general. this is like the 'expectations,' compared to how it really works, and it made me seriously tentative to post this. because i believe that trans ppl deserve so much more proper rep, i'm gonna create another version of this oneshot but not with george. i know that they're real people, and giving a person who's real like gender dysphoria or a problem that's real like depression can be really serious, and i don't wanna do that. so, i'll write another special on another one of my books with an OC rather than a real person. after getting lots of input from my friend, i hope i'll be able to do it right.

_ Hi, _

_This is_ _Georgia_ _George_

The young brunette looked up from her— no,  _ his _ — shameful attempt of the start of a coming out letter. He set the pencil down with a shaking hand and a rapidly accelerating breath. He couldn’t do this.

He was a girl. He was born a girl, with the female parts and a feminine build. He was supposed to enjoy getting new clothes, or gossiping, or things that looked  _ cute _ (what even classified as cute anyway?). He was supposed to act like a girl, he was supposed to  _ be _ a girl. Yet as he stared at his own reflection in the mirror, he couldn’t help but cry, because this wasn’t who he was. It wasn’t who he wanted to be. He was uncomfortable, he was lying, he was acting. His entire life had become one big play, where he’d put on a mask each day, get into character, and pretend he was a girl. He should be a girl. His parents wanted a girl, they raised a girl, and they didn’t want a boy.

They didn’t want him.

_ “You know, Georgia,”  _ his mother would say,  _ “We’ve always wanted a girl. When you came into this world, you had a spark so bright that we knew that you would be absolutely brilliant.” _

Then, she’d look over at him with a sweet, maternal smile, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she looked at him with pure pride.  _ “We weren’t wrong,” _ she’d whisper, _ “You are everything we wanted and expected you to be.” _

His dad would chuckle, breaking the sweet moment.  _ “Your brother, though,”  _ he’d mutter, jabbing a fork at his younger brother, Cody.  _ “He needs some work to do instead of playing video games all day.” _

Cody would gasp in mock offense, before going on to ramble about why Minecraft was such a superior game, and how he had made many accomplishments in his newest world. The conversation would lull on from there, and George couldn’t help but let his mask as  _ Georgia  _ fall.

Would it be so bad if the ‘she’ was a ‘ _ he _ ’ instead? Would it change everything, even though he was still the same? 

It would. Because then, George wouldn’t be  _ Georgia _ , the bright daughter his parents were expecting, the bright daughter his parents were proud of. No, he’d be George, the person who he is, but the disappointment to his parents.

They’d be ashamed of him.

He felt himself beginning to cry, his body racking with sobs as his shoulders shook. Tears continuously poured out of his eyes, allowing him to finally put down the mask, allowing him to finally put down the act. He sobbed in his chair, his tears staining his cheeks and desk, yet he felt more free than he had in days. He cried at his desk as  _ George _ , fully and undeniably George. 

It was the most relaxed and the most pained he’d felt in days.

~~~

George stood, facing his reflection in the mirror. His hair went down to his shoulders, curling nicely and naturally at the bottom. His breasts were somewhat flat, but they were still visible, and they hurt him more than they should’ve. His waist had feminine curves, and his face had a more female look.

He was repulsed by what he saw. It wasn’t him at all. He stared at his reflection, feeling his skin crawl as though there were caterpillars covering his body, he couldn’t breathe, and he felt like he was drowning, because he hated looking at someone who he wasn’t. It was as though he was masked. Permanently hiding his true self from the world. 

He shook his head. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not anymore. 

With a bated breath, his hand shook as he picked up the hairdressing scissors his mom had kept in the kitchen drawer. As his hand grasped around the metal tool, he took a steadying breath, letting his worries fade away. 

_ “I’m sorry, _ ” he whispered, raising the scissors to his hair. “I refuse to pretend any more.”

He snipped and watched as his hair floated down onto the ground. He smiled to himself.

_ I refuse. _

~~~

_ George cried to himself in tears of joy as he reentered his room. In his hands was a small brown package, addressed to him. As soon as he calmed his nerves down, he excitedly opened the packaging to find a black binder inside.  _

_ He gasped in awe, slowly handling the fabric as if it would disappear if he handled it too roughly. It was obviously a little worn, but George could care less as he slipped off his shirt and bra, taking in one last deep breath before attempting to slip the binder on. It was much more difficult than he had anticipated, and he found himself struggling to put it on.  _

_ Yet, finally, fifteen minutes, later, he stared at his reflection, throwing his shirt back on. His breasts weren’t visible. He felt tears streaming down his cheeks, yet they were ones of happiness compared to other tears he had shed before. _

_ It was him. Even if he still had that long hair and feminine curves, it felt so obviously him. He stared at his reflection in the mirror, and it was  _ him _ staring back at him. He looked at himself, and smiled. _

_ It felt so right.  _ _ For the first time in a while, he actually felt like himself; it was the best feeling in the world.  _

~~~

George walked out of the bathroom, his hair short and his chest binded. His haircut was a tad bit uneven, but he could deal with it. For the first time in days, in months, possibly even in  _ years _ , he could feel himself breathe again. He could feel the air rushing into his lungs, as if he’d been drowning and gotten pulled out of the water, just in time for some air.

He looked at his reflection.

Staring back at him were chocolate brown eyes that showed more warmth than he’d ever felt before. Staring back at him was George, with no more restrictions, no more masks. Staring back at him was who he was meant to be, who he was, and he didn’t feel repulsed. He looked at his reflection, and decidedly, he smiled.

_ I look good. _

He felt good, too.

~~~

George fiddled with the hem of his sleeves as he steadied himself, preparing to go downstairs. He heard the laughter of his family, unconsciously engraving the sound into his mind, should he not be able to hear the joyous sounds again.

He took a deep breath, exhaling. He made an offhand mental note as to how easily he felt he could breathe again. George slowly began to defend the steps, the light of the kitchen coming into view. He noticed his family all laughing together on the couch.

Cody noticed him first. Neither boys said anything, the both of them just staring at one another in silence. George fidgeted under his gaze. Was he upset? Did the younger brother who seemingly admired him so much now hate him because of this now?

_ Well, then he wouldn’t have been real, _ his brain answers.

_ But I was. _

Finally, after moments of stretched out silence, Cody smiled adoringly at him, and turned back to his mom and dad to continue his ramble about Minecraft. George lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He felt his eyes get watery at the non-verbal acceptance from his brother. 

George offhandedly wiped away his tears as they threatened to fall and fully came into view of his parents, filled with a new confidence. He watched every movement his parents’ faces make— from the way their eyes flicker from emotions of shock to confusion, as their mouths are suddenly agape and their posture slouched slightly. It was neither a positive nor negative reaction, and so George cleared his throat.

“Hi, mum, dad,” he whispered meekly, “It’s me.”

When he is met with silence, he continues. “I’m… I’m Georgia. But I’m not. I’m George,” he said, still analyzing his parents’ reactions. “I use he/him pronouns. I’m a boy. It’s not what you’re used to. And it’s not what you were expecting.” His voice lowers to a broken whisper. “I know it’s not what you wanted either.”

“But it’s me. It’s still me, I still made those accomplishments, I just never shied you who I truly was. I am George, and I always have been, even if you called me Georgia and thought of me as a girl. I’m not any different from before.

“I’ve just been trapped for so long. I’ve been hiding in fear and shame for so long, I’ve spent every day feeling like I was drowning and no one would ever pull me up.”

He looked at his parents, a brilliant spark of determination and strength in his eyes. “I’ve pulled myself up. I can only ask for you to try and help keep me afloat.”

His parents’ faces were blank for a second more before his dad nodded at him in approval and his mum bursted into tears. George felt all his anxieties and fears wash away as he felt a calm wave of acceptance wash over his shoulders. 

“You’ve still got that bright spark in your eyes,” his mum whispered, her tone shaky as she smiled brightly at her  _ son _ . 

George felt a warm, tearful smile of his own snake his way onto his face. He dashed into the arms of his parents, feeling Cody hug him from behind to add onto the family embrace.

_ This _ , he thinks to himself, feeling warm in the arms of those who love him,  _ This is home. _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> it's pretty short, but i like it. i like it a lot. i swear these will get longer though. soon. sometime soon. 
> 
> anddddd... right before you leave, a special message in honor of transgender awareness week, and please allow this message to reach everyone, including non-binary, genderfluid, and those other pals. :)
> 
> you do not have to feel invalid because of who you are. your gender is just as real as everyone else's, and fuck anyone who says otherwise. you are still a person, and even if you're not cisgender or whatever, you're still you. your gender does not define you, and you are still an amazing person. you will be loved by those who truly care about you, and they won't care about what you look like or what gender you are, because they'll care for you and your personality. you do not have to feel obliged to change for anyone but yourself, and live your life positively; make yourself happy. your happiness should be your first priority, because you should realize that you really do matter. you always will, no matter your gender, sexuality, race, or religion. we all are valid people, and it's okay to be you. never forget that. <33
> 
> before we part once more, i'd just like everyone to send your prayers or regards (if you're not religious) to the philippines, in hope that they will be able to recover from the typhoons. i have family there, and while they're still safe, there are others there who are hurting. pitch in a dollar if you can-- everything counts. ^^
> 
> wow, this authors note is getting long ahaha- one more thing. apparently, it's actually pretty hard to get binders if you're trans-- and that's absolutely terrible. imo, they should be sold in stores regularly, because being trans is just as real as girls having their periods (also, why tf do we have to pay for pads, like i'm sorry, but i can't control if i have a period or not smh). it would mean a lot to all of our trans friends out there if we could possibly donate some money to those foundations who are helping trans kids all around the world to get them a binder! :D
> 
> if you don't have money to donate (like me), then that's perfectly okay. the next best thing to do is to just spread the word, and stick together for a stronger future with change together. >:D
> 
> anyway, this a/n has gone way past it's limit. i'd like to thank you all for reading, and remember that there's always a reason to smile. i hope you all have an absolutely lovely rest of your day/night, and happy transgender awareness week! don't be afraid to let your colors shine and to be you this week. i love you all. :)
> 
> ~donut c;


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